Let’s talk about the European car market, that glorious battlefield where old titans like Volkswagen and Renault cling to their rusty trophies while newcomers from the East storm in like a pack of starving wolves at a picnic. Take BYD, that Chinese upstart no longer whispering but roaring. In August this year—yes, 2025, the year everyone thought electric cars were just a passing fad—BYD sold more cars in the EU than the once-unbeatable Tesla for the twelfth month in a row. Three times more than last year, to be exact: 9,130 units, a staggering 201% leap. Meanwhile, Tesla’s sales plummeted by 36.6%, their market share shrinking to a pitiful 1.2%. BYD? They’re sitting pretty at 1.3%. It’s like watching a Formula 1 driver overtake a skateboarder; painful to witness, but oh so satisfying.
What makes BYD such an unstoppable force? Simple: they throw prices around like confetti at a birthday party. Their battery-electric vehicles surged by 30.2%, and the plug-in hybrids—those clever mongrels that still carry a bit of petrol for emergencies—climbed by 54.5%. Take the Seal 6 Touring, a model I imagine as a cross between a luxury liner and a rocket on wheels: spacious, quiet, and so cheap you wonder if they’re still inflating the tyres by hand in Shenzhen. The total market grew by 5.3%, but BYD? They’re laughing their heads off. Their lineup of EVs and PHEVs is not only affordable but doesn’t feel like you’re driving a toy car. No wonder Tesla’s Elon Musk is probably lying awake at night, tweeting about Mars colonisation to forget the humiliation.
But hold on, there’s hope for the old guard. Enter Stellantis, that conglomerate of Italian flair and French stubbornness—Fiat, Peugeot, Citroën, Alfa Romeo, you name it. After a year of misery, with an 8.9% drop over the first eight months, Stellantis finally climbed out of the pit in August with a modest 3.4% gain. Citroën and Alfa Romeo chipped in, as if they suddenly realised the world doesn’t end with combustion engines. It’s not a victory parade—the market as a whole barely budged, with a -0.1% over the period—but hey, it’s something. Picture this: after the drama of ex-CEO Carlos Tavares and a CFO who bailed after just a year (Doug Ostermann, replaced by the hapless Joao Laranjo), it’s like an espresso after a hangover. They’re battling higher production costs and a sluggish shift to electric, while the Chinese, with their cheap batteries and clever tech, are wiping the floor. But with models like the Fiat 500 Hybrid, which adds a dash of hybrid zest to that iconic biscuit tin, they’re showing resilience. It’s like an old fox finally catching a rabbit: not graceful, but effective.
And then there’s the broader chaos. EV sales in Europe exploded by 16.4% for hybrids over the first eight months, while petrol and diesel cars limp behind. Battery-electric vehicles grabbed 15.6% market share in the first half, with 869,271 new registrations. But meanwhile, China lurks in the shadows: brands like Jetour, an SUV specialist from the Chery group, are landing in Poland with petrol-powered beasts that dodge the EU’s EV import tariffs. Three models from November, no electric nonsense—just pure, unadulterated combustion power. A clever move, because while Brussels bickers over import duties, the Eastern invasion slips in quietly.
In short, Europe’s car market is a circus: BYD as the acrobat leaving the crowd gobsmacked, Stellantis as the clown finally finding its balance, and the rest as spectators wondering if they should’ve bought a bike. One thing’s certain: the future is electric, fizzing, and ruthless. Whether you want a BYD to taunt Tesla or a Stellantis to prove old blood can still pump, the ride’s getting wilder than ever.
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